I can't believe it has been a year since I attended your funeral, as of today. There are SO many times over the past 12 months that I have wished to talk to you, see you, laugh with you, just be with you. My heart hurts over the loss of you.
There have been MANY moments over the past year that I wished you could be there for: New Years Eve, When we moved into our new place, for your girlfriends birthday a few weeks back, for my birthday less than two weeks away. Would you make fun of my new nickname "Kitty?" I know how much you HATED cats. Would you let me cut your hair & beard? Would you be PROUD that I FINALLY figured out what I wanted to do with my life?
I know that Kevin, my hubby misses you too. He isn't as vocal about it, and doesn't mention you as much as I do, but...a fishing buddy, camping, cooking, going hunting, the day of his graduation, I KNOW he wanted to share those times with you. We're playing D & D with his friends, and I wish you were with us for that.
The tattoo on my back, always reminds me that you are with me, sometimes I can hear your laugh on the wind, or your mocking voice in my head, or I'll see a look on Kevin that you used to give me too.
I hope you know that we miss you still. I hope that you know that you are loved still. We looked out for TJ during the first few weeks after your death, and I still talk to her on FaceBook, Text Messages, and our Cellies. I sent your Mom a note on FaceBook, after I friend requested her today.
Would you be proud and happy to know that if/when Kev & I have kids, we are planning on giving our son your first & middle name as a tribute? We would have named you the Godfather, I am sure of it.
Your death has made some positive changes in me. I'm losing weight, eating better, and trying not to stress that much. I'm trying to work out some kind of exercise routine. You could pick me up really easily now, I've lost SO much weight.
Dinner is ready, and Kev's calling me down...
I never said it enough when you were alive, I will say it now. I love you, and you were a GREAT friend. I miss you everyday!
This is the last pic I have of him while he was alive, his girlfriend TJ's birthday party.
14 days later, he was gone.